4 months

Today Annabelle had her 4 month appointment. All went well (including two shots... boo). She is 14 pounds 1 oz. and in the 57th percentile for weight. For height, she is 25" and in the 74th! Our little girl is healthy and definitely growing!

I'm proud to say that we are still pumping and Annabelle is still receiving breastmilk. Every day that ticks by I remember that all the work is worth it. We even have a freezer full of milk, so that whenever we decide to stop, there will still be milk for quite awhile. My first goal is still 6 months. We'll see where we are from there.

This weekend we took a trip "up north" to the cottage. Joel bow hunted and we just relaxed in the cottage with Aunt Anna, Amanda, and Brinley. Annabelle was entertaining us all with her giggles and her new trick, blowing raspberries! The second one is funny and yet, not so cute! :)

She also rolled from her back to her front yesterday for the first time!

We're actually home for a few weeks now before the holidays have us travelling again.

so much change

Change is not a word that comes easily to most people. And in some it strikes fear to their very core.

I thought I was good with change.

Until a 4 month old taught me the true meaning of change. As in every day. No two days look alike. She grabs her toes and squirms around in her crib. She eats at different times and sleeps through the night (hurray!). She grows out of new clothes (and diapers) all the time. She loves to sit up and look around and take in the world. She sucks her thumb and pulls out her pacifier (hurray again!).

Her cheeks are rounder and her thighs are ticklish. She responds to touch. She knows what her bottle is and is on the verge of pulling out of my hands.

And she's only 4 months old. The changes are coming quick now and I have to be on my toes.

Some women I know say "I'm so fluid - I mold to anything you put me in." Probably my most important lesson in being a mom. Things always change. Just when you think you have it figured out, she's on to something else.

Thank you, Annabelle.

lazy

Well, not really lazy, but busy. It's amazing how much work it is to keep up with the house, hang out with my girl, and try to get us out once in awhile.





For those of you that aren't in the direct vacinity, you wouldn't know there is another complicating factor. I'm pumping. Exclusively. That means that every 3 hours for 20 minutes, I have to sit on my bed with myself all hooked up.





It has been a hard road. And very emotional. We have received lots of advice on how we could get her to latch, but nothing seemed to work and eating time was not good. And for the most part, pumping is okay. But it does limit the length of time we can leave the house. And complicates travelling - though this weekend we had no problems. I even took the pump to the Country Music Hall of Fame and used their First Aid room to pump.





The hardest thing is knowing that nursing works so easily for some people - and that others work really hard and it eventually works for them. It didn't for us. And to be honest, we're past it. I've been considering this week trying to get her to latch again - and then I see the way she eats even with the bottle and I'm pretty sure that nothing has changed.





So, as much as I've appreciated everyone's advice - this is the direction we're going. I'm able to provide her plenty of milk (and create a huge stock in our freezer - thank God for the deep freezer) and I know she's getting the nutrients she needs.





My goal is to make it to 6 months. And if we go longer, it will be a bonus.





The most gratifying thing: those cheeks and thighs. And the incredibly cute giggle she has decided to bless us with recently! For this, I am proud.

the many faces of AJ

I have been lax in my posting here - sometimes it's hard to make this a priority. So much has happened - short vacations, Annabelle's baptism, and quitting my job! And the big news - yesterday Annabelle rolled from her tummy to her back 4 times. She has yet to do it again today, but I was so stinkin' proud!

If you have not had the pleasure of meeting our little girl, then you wouldn't know that she is a seriously expressive child. She has been making funny faces since she was born and using her eyebrows to her full advantage. Here are a few pictures that I snapped while she was hanging out with Daddy the other day.

I'll keep her!

bye bye galbladder

Yesterday I said goodbye to my galbladder. And as my friend John so correctly articulated, I never liked the galbladder much anyway - good riddance!

But once again I'm recovering from surgery. This one is easier, but still not pretty. I have five incisions - one just below my belly button and four across my right set of ribs. So I now have six incision sites on my abdomen - there were zero there before june 20th! :)

Our biggest challenge - breastfeeding. It has never gone smoothly and now, because of the drugs in my system, my little girl has been taking food from a bottle. As of this morning, the drugs have worn off, but my incisions are so sensitive that I can't figure out any holds that would be comfortable enough to keep her away from my incisions - plus Annabelle is a mover... this morning she gave my belly button incision (the biggest and most painful) a nice elbow! That's when I decided I better pump one more day and give her the bottle.

But otherwise, we have a beautiful angel on our hands. Okay, angel is probably strong, but she is an incredibly sweet little girl. And to everyone's surprise when they meet her, she is a smiler. An intentional smiler.

I'm doing my best to keep up with all her changes, but the last 5 1/2 weeks have flown by. She has been in more doctor's offices for me than you would believe, and has never once screamed through an appointment. She is still trying to decide what she thinks about bath time. She loves to be naked on her changing table/dresser and kick and stretch. And Miss Annabelle has so much personality.

Most of all, she is adored by all her family and friends. Everyday she gets something more in the mail and everything has been so thoughtful and generous.

Check out what I mean about the smiles!

what's in a name

Many people have asked us how we came up with Annabelle Juliette.





Annabelle was a name I had heard before and found it very endearing. Joel and I both felt like it would be a great name for a baby, but also a great name for a woman. That was important to us. We wanted something that was fairly timeless. But I guess only time will truly tell.





Juliette was easy. We debated about using it as a first name, but Annabelle (the name) charmed us early on. Juliette is my maternal Grandmother's first name. As many of you know, my grandmother and I were great friends and she meant (and still means) so much to me in her years, especially the last ones. Though Joel did not have a chance to get to know her well, he knows how influential she was in my life. We hope and pray that our Annabelle inherits her ability to love everyone individually (and many more things). Between my Grandma and Joel's mom, we just might have an artist on our hands, also!

pictures

For those of you who have too much time on your hands or just love cute babies, I'm attempting to upload Annabelle's pictures to our shutterfly site. This would be all the pictures (most of the good ones are on Facebook already).

www.klullo.shutterfly.com

my "unnatural" natural birth story

As anyone who has read this blog before knows, we had planned and prepared for an unmedicated birthing experience. We had taken classes, read books, hired a doula, and mentally prepared for the pain I was about to experience.

So, when I woke up on Sunday, June 20th with contractions starting at 5 minutes apart, I called on all my resources. Within 2 hours, our doula was at our house. The funny thing was that I really just wanted to labor alone for the most part. I spent significant time in the bathroom and just tried to think about all that we were going to need for the hospital (interesting side-note, I was not hungry and hadn't eaten much since Friday). Eventually I figured out what was comfortable for me and what I wanted from others and we hung out in the baby's room, rocking in the chair, getting my feet rubbed, and waiting for things to progress. And they did fairly quickly. At noon I decided I was ready to be at the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital by 1 and it was determined I was already at 8-9 cm, which was good because the baby was having small decels after each contraction. Since I was so far along, it was just a waiting game. Within an hour I was at ten, but my water had not broken yet. We decided to push to see if we could get my water to break. After 20 minutes of that and no movement, the doctor decided to break my water, convinced that the baby would then come very quickly. An hour and 40 minutes later, the baby hadn't budged a millimeter and the doctor managed to break the news to me that she wasn't coming vaginally. She was stuck on something and no position we had tried had moved her at all. Even after breaking my water, my contractions slowed and became less painful. We still have no idea what happened.

Within minutes my room was flooded with doctors and nurses and all ability I had to work through my contractions was gone. I wasn't scared, just ready.

After working through another 45 minutes of contractions and relaxing enough to get a spinal, I was strapped down in the OR with Joel standing at my side. Spinals are pretty incredible things as I felt none of the tugging or slicing or anything. Within 10 minutes, our baby girl was being pulled from my womb. They positioned her in a place where I could see her. She didn't cry immediately, but Joel was calm, so it kept me calm. Within minutes she was crying. She was having a few problems breathing, so they explained to me that she was just fine, but they were going to take her to the special nursery (not the NICU). I sent Joel with her so that she could have a familiar voice and presence and I just waited patiently while they finished me back up. The doctors and nursing staff were wonderful and I was back in my room quickly.

Thankfully, Joel and Annabelle Juliette were back with me within minutes and I got to hold my girl immediately.

The stupid cliche of love at first sight has never been more true. She is beautiful and truly a little miracle. We love her with all of our beings and love each other more.

The road to recovery may be a little longer, and clearly the C-section was unexpected and not wanted, but my little burrito is here and making my life more full of love. And modern medicine has created wonderful medication that doesn't harm her and makes mommy able to help raise her child.

After 4 days in the hospital, we are home. There is much more to tell and remember and document including the tale of breastfeeding, but that is for another time. Daddy and Annabelle are watching Saturday morning cartoons and Mommy is desperate to join them!

Shrek feet

That's what I have. No baby and Shrek feet! We are so anxiously awaiting this baby's arrival. Friday/Saturday is our "due date" and even though it's no exact science, it feels like a deadline (we know it's not, it just feels that way).

Update from our appointment on Tuesday. I'm 4 cm dialated. As a matter of fact, my doc told us to go right to the hospital. (Note to self: next baby, find new doctor). I knew I wasn't contracting, so I asked her to monitor me and then we'd decide. Lo and behold, not contracting (at least not substantially). So, we went home and got ready... bags packed, showered, all excited... nothing. Wednesday, nothing. Thursday, nothing. Why did she have to get us so excited?

So, I gave up and finally went grocery shopping. I kept hoping what we had in the house would hold out until Squirt came, but we were running low on the basics. We're now stocked (another note to self: shopping at 40 weeks pregnant means you come home with 2 different cake mixes and frosting - which is really funny because we never make cake!).

I have a list of to-do's for the weekend so I don't get too stir crazy.

But, tomorrow is my last day of work. I decided that work isn't making me any nicer right now! But as far as what I'll do for the next two weeks (if it goes that long) - no idea! Here's to hoping Squirt joins us soon.

Good thing we have sports to distract right now. Joel loves World Cup soccer and I'm beginning to understand and enjoy it too. And tonight, we'll be watching game 7 of the NBA finals.

I will be watching from the comfort of my fitness/birth ball.

as promised

Though we're not 100% complete, we're 99%, so I figured it was time.

Here are some before and after pics of the basement. I know I'm impressed! :)

BEFORE

AFTER

38.5

39 on Friday.
We're ready... actually bored with waiting. Doc says I shouldn't go over my due date, but this is the same woman that told me two weeks ago that we'd have the baby in two weeks! :) Still 2 cm, 75% effaced (making progress there), and baby is really low.
I'm not crazy uncomfortable yet, but I still have to watch what I'm eating. I told Joel that when this baby comes, I will need a Diet Coke from McDonald's pretty quickly! I haven't even sipped one in 10 months.
I need to update pictures of Joel's basement project. It looks beyond awesome! Everyone that sees it is impressed with the craftmanship and the amount of use we know we'll get out of it. Now it just needs to be cleaned up from all of the sawdust and organized. Of course, you think this would keep me busy, but the amount of energy I have to do it is pretty low. Maybe tonight. I can't finish this thought without thanking Mike and Kyle - they were absolute God-sends with all their help.

We have really enjoyed our time lately - we have been on two extended dates and spent quality time with family and friends. People have been so generous and thoughtful and we can't wait to share our little love with everyone!

Hintz shower pics!

Hintz sisters

With Cynthia

"Great" Grandma Hintz

With Mom

Beautiful children

Generous gifts!

Thanks Liss!

memorial day weekend

so sweet! we had the most perfect weekend.

Friday night we started the weekend with our friends Becky and Ray. It is a joy to be with them as they are expecting their first later this summer. And we have similar approachs to both labor and parenting. We spent our night talking about vaccines and visits to the doctor. Here is a great picture of Becky and I comparing how we are "carrying". Neither one of us knows what we're having, so we'll see!!

I woke up Saturday with an incredibly long list of things to do and an incredible amount of energy. So, I organized our freezers and refrigerator, pulled weeds, baked bread (5 loaves), grocery shopped, got our bags ready for the hospital, and made meatballs for the freezer. Joel worked in the basement all day - and happily. I will try to update with pictures soon. We then got a chance to see our good friend Kris and his friend Andrea.

Sunday was date day. We slept in, went to the late service at church, had A & W for lunch, miniature golfed in the blistering heat, took a nap, ran to Kohl's, went out for dinner, and then went for a nice walk. We ended the evening just chatting about the coming changes in our life.

Monday morning we woke up very early, which gave Joel another opportunity to work on the basement. My energy level had dwindled (I had been having a few, painless Braxton Hicks contractions), so other than two loads of laundry, I rested for most of the morning with my feet up (catching up on some Glee!). The afternoon was spent with our good friends the Strattons, Ashley and Emily and Maple Reetz. We ate steak and ice cream sundaes! Joel and I ended the evening with putting in the car seat and organizing the basement. Joel still swears he's nesting!

Though we really missed hanging out "up north" with the Hintz's this year, we had a really sweet time!

Hintz shower

Hopefully soon I will have pictures from our wonderful shower on Saturday (hint, hint Elissa) - so I can show off all the lovely ladies that were there.

But again, our family was generous and wonderful to be with. The food was great! The decorations were all coordinated and perfect! And the company was superb. Baby Hintz could not be more blessed!

docs says "pack your bags"

So, as many of you know, the time is drawing near. I see my doctor every week now. Everything is always good news. My group B strep test came back negative. I was worried the baby had flipped (nope). My eyelid is twitching (get more sleep). I was suffering from severe heartburn (under control now). Feet are swollen (she just laughs at me). All normal pregnancy stuff.
And to our surprise, we're already 2 cm dialated. Never thought this was a big deal... people walk around dialated for a long time.
But the doctor looked surprised and then said "If you haven't packed your bags yet, I would". She then proceeded to look at Joel and say "And if she tells you she's in pain, take her seriously". She thinks we're going early. As a matter of fact, she thinks we're going to have a baby in the next two weeks! Now, that's only a week and a half early, but still!
To be honest, I'm nervous and anxious and excited all at the same time. Everyone keeps telling me how difficult the first couple of weeks are. Women at work are telling me that my summer won't be as fun as I think it will be. I don't know what to do with a baby. And to be really honest, I'm selfish. I love my time alone with my husband and now I will have to share that. I know - all very normal fears, but still.
On the other hand, I've waited to be a mom for a long time. And for how much I love other people's children, I can guarantee this will be far greater. I look forward to seeing our child, giving Squirt a name, and spending our time together as a family. Life will change, yes... but from what other people say, it is for the better.
So starting Saturday (37 weeks)... we're going to start with all the natural induction methods I can think of: spicy foods, walking, and well, the other thing. And sooner or later, Squirt will be here... and we will wrap up this great gift of God and start a new journey together.

home projects

Joel is nesting. Or so he says. I think it's just excuse to start a huge home project just 6 weeks before the baby is due. But, since the project will likely benefit me, I let him proceed. :)
The project consists of replacing the basement stairs (done), building cabinets in the basement, and putting in a counter top with a slop sink. The fronts of the cabinets are virtually done, but he still needs to build the "boxes". Then the walls have to be scraped and painted (just where the cabinets are going, due to mold), and then the countertop and sink (which Mike says will not take long at all). We are now about 5 weeks out and I'm getting a little nervous about all of this getting done. Not because it needs to get done, but so that it clears Joel's head for when the baby arrives.
The joy for me is that all of our wonderful wedding gifts will now have a permanent home, we'll have a pantry in the basement, and I will be able to make my piles of clothes on the countertop and not on the floor. It's pretty fantastic to have a carpenter for a husband!

On another note - Joel and our doula, Tiffany, have become fast friends. Their friendship though, is built on debate. Tiffany is a very "natural, holistic" type person. Joel, not so much. Our visit last night consisted of at least 10 minutes of debate about chiropractors. It was very intelligent and respectful, but I can assume the time I'm in labor and we need something to amuse ourselves with (besides the contractions!) - these two will have plenty to talk about.

AND - I had the most fantastic birthday last week. Everyone in my life really made me feel special and honored. Joel treated me like a queen.

nashville

I know that my life has been consumed by all things baby (including the now restless nights of sleep). But one other thing has managed to get into my conciousness lately.

Nashville. If you haven't spent any time there, the story of the floods may have come and gone for you. The truth is, the town (and a lot of the state of Tennessee) is still under water.

Once upon a time I worked for a photography company based 45 minutes outside of Nashville. They flew me out a couple of times for training - each time, I was able to stay for a few days and visit the city. It was an absolute pleasure. I even had the privilege of staying in the Opryland Hotel and went to a taping of the Grand Ol' Opry. WOW!

The other time I spent a night walking around downtown Nashville - music coming from every doorway and fanastic food. Then I spent a good chunk of time visiting all the historical sites.

I have always sworn that I would take Joel there. He may not be a fan of the current pop country - but he loves the classic country. And with all the live music, I believe my husband would be in heaven.

The last I heard - the Opryland hotel may be all but lost - and the Grand Ol' Opry has 4 feet of water inside. The Country Music Hall of Fame has water in the basement. The Titan's stadium is filled with water. And though it may not be a huge number, 31 people to date have lost their lives.

I still hope to take Joel someday, but I wonder what the city will be like. Some of these great monuments to music (country and otherwise) have been forever changed.

I know a few people in the area - and from their guts and stamina, I know the city will survive, and may even come out of this stronger than ever.

Please don't forget about Nashville right now - keep those people in your prayers.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/8658783.stm

showered

The Lullo/Carpenter family is all in Chicago. Because of this, Squirt and I have been showered two fold now and this isn't the last of it.

It was perfect! My Aunt Laurie opened her home, prepared food and asked others to help with centerpieces, favors, games and dessert. The house looked great and the company was wonderful. It is always such a treat to be with family.

And man did we come home with a car load. People were beyond generous (again)! Here are a few shots from the day. Man, I feel like I'm getting so big and we still have 7 weeks to go!

Thank you to all who were able to make it out! If anyone has more pictures, I'd love to have them!

quickly

Sometimes squirmy babies wake you up early... so here is an update.

Doc appointment yesterday was great! The baby was totally settled on to my left side of my stomach - the minute I lifted up my shirt (to hear the heartbeat) the doctor said "well, I guess this baby likes to lay on your left side". She then showed me exactly where the baby's back and head was (down). Now we just pray the baby's head stays down! :) The heartbeat was 150 and I'm healthy too. I now have visits every two weeks!

Other updates: I prepped cloth (prefold) diapers this weekend. Check out the transformation:

Before........................... and after (nice and fluffy and ready to absorb!)

And Joel has accomplished the ultimate task. And of course, the pictures do it NO justice, but I had to try. Guess you'll just have to come over and see our beautiful cradle!

one more thought

Joel and I were laughing so hard last night. We were laying in bed and this child must have been having a really hard time getting comfortable - we could see some body part just sticking up for long periods of times and then "thud" we'd see a HUGE kick. We have seen the belly move before - but last night it was truly a scene from a horror flick - except cute :) Joel would cover my belly up, but I was so intrigued, I had to keep watching!

friend shower

Cute baby cards! :) Me, Ashley, and my belly glory.

Creating unique onesies for the baby

We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many loving people! Our cloth diaper stash has been added to and many more needs have been filled - plus Squirt got a few books that Mommy is very excited about! Daddy already read one (Barnyard Dance) to Squirt on Sunday morning.

This pic is an added bonus - just another little something for the baby... elefante for the room!

More pics from this and Easter on my shutterfly site: http://klullo.shutterfly.com.

squirmy worm

For some reason, that is what I call this baby some days - other days this baby is a boxer. Somtimes Squirt just squirms around trying to get comfortable - other days I picture Squirt sucking his/her thumb and then pulling it out so it whacks my belly. I love feeling the movement, but there are days and nights when I could deal with more of the squirming and less of the kicking/punching.

I got quite a few responses from my last blog - so here's the update. The twitching is probably just development of the nervous system or hiccups - doc was not concerned.

We interviewed our first doula on Wednesday and really liked her. From emails she was #2 on my list, but I feel great knowing that if we don't like #1, #2 will be awesome. She really listened to us and had no problems answering all of Joel's questions (which I was surprised how many he had). One of the things I love about Joel is that the basic answer is not enough for him - he wants to know why and what has happened historically. Where did the concept of doula come from? Was it Greek or French or Spanish? Things I would never even have thought of. He felt very comfortable with her and that was as important to me as me being comfortable.

Birth class is fun and interesting. Lots of big bellys and waddling around (not me yet, thankfully). We watched our first births last night (short clips) and I cried when the baby came out - I'm crossing my fingers that only Joel noticed. Of course, watching these women labor put the fear of God in me - which is probably not a bad thing. A little reality check - now I know the challenges set before me and this idea of natural birth. But I am determined and am educating myself as much as possible.

My pregnant community is so fun - my cousin is 4 weeks before me and in nesting mode, a friend of mine at work is a few days before me, another friend is a few months behind - it's great to be surrounded by all the support and encouragement! Can't wait to meet all of our babies!

too much information

The internet is good and evil all at the same time. I love being able to find information that calms my fears, but most often, I find information that tells me something is very, terribly wrong. As a first time mother, it's much easier to believe the latter.
Case in point. Lately the baby has been twitching - the only way to explain is that it feels like a muscle spasm or seizure. Hadn't thought much of it before today but decided to "google" it. I found everything from it's normal development all the way to it is truly a seizure and my baby will have seizures when it is delivered. Great. With a doctor's appointment coming up tomorrow, I'm deciding to believe that all is well and it is normal.
Another struggle I've been having is the desire to have a natural childbirth experience (as long as Squirt is healthy and allows it). Problem is that our insurance company would not foot the bill (though it would likely be a much smaller bill). We are stuck with an OB in a hospital. With this being the case, I started to do more research on how to make this experience as ideal as possible. The final answer for us is to hire a doula. Check this out for information about a doula: http://www.dona.org/
My favorite information I read is this:

Numerous clinical studies have found that a doula's presence at birth tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications:
-reduces negative feelings about one's childbirth experience
-reduces the need for pitocin (a labor-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction and cesareans
-reduces the mother's request for pain medication and/or epidurals

We have meetings set up with two different women from the area who are doula's. I will let you know what we find out!

progress

Wool longies - check, bigger soaker - check, blanket - check (the two little legs at the top of the pic will be a stuffed elephant!)

Starting to grow a little... (okay, forgive the no makeup... but I like the belly!)

Getting ready to paint Squirt's room... (to which I better get back or Joel will think I abandoned him!)

Grandpa turns 80?!

Eating, eating and more eating

The birthday kids trying to decide who's older (Grandpa, you're the winner!)

Checking out wonderful old pictures

And where else would kids want to be but in the indoor pool! The house was really amazing. As a matter of fact, the whole day was pretty splendid. Aunt Linda was in town (which is always a treat)... Sara and Bill brought the kids... Uncle Dan and Cari brought their two little friends... and Grandpa was the the center of attention. What a gift to celebrate so many healthy and happy years!

We also got an unexpected treat. Turns out that the house we were at was a virtual gallery for my Grandma's work. Some of which many of us had not seen before. You could feel that she was being honored and virtually present. The sting of missing her never quite goes away. My little growing family has never had the blessing of knowing her. I can't wait to tell stories and show pictures!

march = big plans

As I near the end of my second trimester, we've started to think about all the "things" we need to get done and how best to use our time. So in the next several weeks we'll be painting Squirt's room, ordering a dresser, Joel wants to finish up the crib, I'd like to finish the blanket, and get the room a little more set up. Then the showers start and before we know it, our little baby will be in our arms!
Until then, Squirt has taken up residence on my right side (at least today). I've started to feel some jabs up closer to my ribs, while at the same time getting kicked down lower. Still feeling great and energetic. I have been trying to stay somewhat active while I can.
I'd also like to start making freezer meals at some point before the baby gets here. If anyone has any good ones, please send my way!
I will try to update this weekend about the wonderful party for Grandpa and a few other baby things.
26 weeks Friday!

24 week doctor's appointment

Heartbeat - 140. Squirt kicked the doppler :)
Glucose test at the next appointment - boo. Let's hope that goes well.
Everything else looks great - measuring right on target!

Chicago this weekend to celebrate my Grandpa's 80th birthday!! Still looking great!

belly dancing

Lunch is a great time for Squirt and I. Usually I'm relaxed (not working) and enjoying a lovely meal, finished off with some sort of sweet.
Then I wait.
Within a few minutes, Squirt is up and moving. Fun to feel from both the inside and now the outside. But today was different. The kicks are becoming progressively stronger - and today, strong enough to see!! Wow- weird and awesome all at the same time. Couldn't see anything distinct, just my belly moving.
Now if Squirt could please put on a good show this weekend for my family, that would be great!

performance

Squirt performed last night.
Pizza, root beer and brownies. Excited high school friends. A perfect time for stage fright. But one by one each of the girls got to feel movement - unmistakable kicks right in their waiting hands. I don't think I've felt the kicks that hard before. But there was no denying what they were feeling. And the look of joy and privilege each one had was irreplaceable.
But the privilege was entirely mine. The life growing inside of me will be our responsibility and no doubt we will receive the most joy, but we can't wait to share Squirt with the world. And allow Squirt to be loved by so many different people with so many different gifts.
My prayer is that we won't be selfish with this child, though I know with all my heart that it will be a challenge for me. I will want to stay in and snuggle and shelter - and there will be time and need for that. But allowing Squirt to be loved and challenged and nurtured by so many people - that is a gift not only for us, but for our child.
Squirt will be exposed to hunting and fishing, weight-lifting and cooking, baseball and musicals, Packers and Bears, conservative and liberal - and though all will fight for their side adamantly, all will express deep joy and love no matter what. And at the end of the day - home will be a place to sort it all out.
Thank you, ahead of time, to each of you that will enrich our child's life. I can't wait for our child to enrich ours and all of yours, as well.

lots happening

I will give you little words, lots of pics.

1 - I'm growing. The picture on the left was two weeks ago. The one on the right, tonight (I will be 23 weeks on Friday). Feeling great - though a little tired at times.

2 - Joel and I spent the weekend in Madison and had the most unbelievable view from our hotel room!

3- Our crib arrived and Joel surprised me while I was at Young Life on Monday night and put it together.

4 & 5 - One finished project (a wool soaker) and one unfinished blanket for Squirt.