On your second birthday, Nora!

My sweetheart,

I love you more than my tongue can tell. And that is an understatement. My heart nearly bursts with love for you.

This last year has been an incredibly tumultuous one for our family. I am so grateful I have had your face to wake up to every morning. With your big sister in school, we have had more time to just be together. Tumbling class, library, wiggle room...what a blast with you!

Your personality is incredible! You are fun, maybe a bit mischievous, but always a joy to have around. At the age of 2, you are already making people laugh, and you are doing it on purpose. That is a gift, sweet child. We didn't know how much we needed you in our house.

It is my absolute joy to be your mother. I love to show you off. You are smart and chatty. At your doctor's appointment yesterday, the doctor said you are advanced in your talking skills. You don't have to tell us that!

We pray for you constantly. For your safety. For your sleep patterns. For your development. For your friendships.

My prayer for you always will be to know your Abba. I want you to know Him intimately as your Heavenly Father. I want you to desire Him above all else. I want you to always see yourself and the world through His eyes.

And somehow, in my heart, I think you already do. May you never lose that. Ever.

I love you up to the sky, to the moon, and the stars...and all the way back.

Love,
Mama

summer going-ons

 

ccoloring...check

one of my bff"s getting engaged...check!

children's museum...check!

clean-up your sis...check!

 

major nose bonk...check!

 

purple cowboy boots...check!

walks...check!

up north...check!

family reunion...check!

 

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On her way

It was a big summer for little Miss Annabelle. She took swim class, went to VBS, and played to her heart's content. But fall is fast approaching. And when you turn 3, that means preschool! Annabelle is going to a simple, 2-day a week, park and rec, preschool. She will love it!

It also means that I get to continue a long-standing Lullo tradition. Pre-school shopping date with Mom. My memories of these dates with my own mom are etched in my memory and the time along with her still makes me feel special. I have been waiting for this day for awhile now and couldn't wait to give her some one-on-one attention. And I had a fun surprise lunch planned for her at the end.

Annabelle picked out as much pink and purple and Hello Kitty as she could for her first day. And, with a little encouragement from her mom, an adorable headband.

On our way in to Macy's!

She insisted on sitting with Abe outside of the mall. (which only begs the question...what is Abe doing outide the mall?)

Getting silly before our special lunch...

I took my big girl out for hibachi (thank you, Groupon). She was not a huge fan of the fire, but loved watching him cook our food. It was such a sweet memory for me because we were the only ones at our table!

Miso Soup!

Fire...

Hiding out (reminding me that she's still a little girl)

In the end, it was a huge success. I love this girl more than chocolate ice cream with cherries on top. And sometimes it takes days like this for me to step back and truly cherish her. She is so smart and definitely beautiful. She notices everything! She is aware of all that is going on around her and loves to process it all externally (no idea where she gets that from!).

I held back tears several times this morning. I love that she's growing up. And I'm so proud of who she is becoming.

 

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Happy 3rd.

Annabella-boo,

Another birthday. 3. For weeks you have been saying, "I turn 3 in June!" And today, when people asked, you said, confidently, "3"!

I love to sit down and reflect on you on your birthday. 3 is a big year! You are signed up for classes without mommy this summer... and preschool begins in the fall. You are so ready. You have incredible social skills, though at random moments, your shy side comes out. As we approach these new steps of independence, ones that I am ready to send you on, I realize just how much we have been together. And I am so grateful. I have been able to watch you through all of your "firsts" and I have been able to watch you develop every step of the way. You are my constant companion. As you have gotten older, I have so appreciated our little "chats".

You are developing into a "big sister"...all the good and sassy. You are starting to include Nora in your activities, asking her to come with you...at times, demanding she come with you. She loves to play by your side..at times, irritating the snot out of you. I am so happy you have her to grow up with, though I know it won't always be easy.

You love to read and read and read. To yourself, to others, to me. And your reading skills are developing. You are recognizing more and more letters...you impress me.

Mostly, I just love you. Though our alone time together is infrequent, it is some of my sweetest memories of the last 6 months.

Little girl, 3 years ago we welcomed you into our family. You have made me better, even at your sassiest. I look ahead to the next year with excitement and anticipation. I look back at the year behind with amazement and pride. These toddler/preschool years are tough, but worth all the pain.

I still pray often and fervently that you will grow into a loving and giving child of God. Grace on you my girl. Grace and peace.

Love you more than my tongue can tell,
Mama

In between baby and toddler

Today she held my hand. This may not seem like much to some moms, but to this mom, it's everything. 

My children are not hand holders or cuddlers. My husband and I aren't really that way, and our kids, even when they were babies, weren't much for cuddling. 

So when they do, time stands still.

We went for a walk. Not far. Just toward the trains. We could hear them clickety-clacking down the tracks at the end of our road, so Annabelle felt that a walk was in order. She's so independent that she walks at least 3 driveways ahead of you.

But Nora is slow. No matter how quickly she shuffles those legs or how hard she pushes out her belly, she is behind. And as her mama, I lag behind with her. 

I reached out my hand to her, and slowly, she wrapped her pudgy fingers around my index finger. I dared not look at her or the moment might just be stolen from me. 

With the sun setting behind us, I could see our shadows. The stark difference in height just made my heart brim over with joy at the thought of the determined look on her face as she was careful over each crack in the sidewalk. 

Today she stayed mostly on course, trying desperately to keep up with "sissy". Usually bending down to dig her finger into an ant hill or curving off into the grass, today we walked together in a straight line. 

The moment didn't last long as Annabelle got impatient and came back looking for us. For a split second, she grabbed my open hand and we walked three across. I literally held my breath. All the thoughts of the lack of sleep, navigating discipline issues, budgets, cleaning, and the crying...all of that faded. I only thought of their hands - Nora holding on to just one of my fingers, Annabelle able to hold my hand now. Straight hair, curly hair. Brunette, blonde. Blue eyes. Both just babies, still. 

And before it started, it was over. Annabelle wanted to hold Nora's hand, which Nora wanted nothing to do with. Annabelle exerted her superiority with a good squeeze and pull. Nora turned around and headed for home while Annabelle darted the other way. All ending in tears as I directed them both the direction we needed to go. 

But no one and nothing can take those brief moments away. My babies are growing up, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I am trying my hardest to not let moments like those get away without at least a second to reflect on them. 

Recent goings-on

 

Finally playing in the sun!

Soaking each other.

Annabelle's new chore chart...helps mommy as much as it helps Annabelle!

Playing "dress-up"

Eating lunch in the house before all our stuff came over.

The "trailer" that arrived with all of our stuff!

Annabelle helping Nora take her shoes off

My beautiful birthday card and mug from my girls.

Just being beautiful

Watching the trains at the end of the street. Annabelle doesn't like when they stop!

 

Got my hair chopped!

 

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Life in the fast lane

My dad has been singing this song to me since I was very little. And the lyrics couldn't be more fitting as they have been the last 3 weeks.

Joel lost his job. And it hit us, as I'm sure it does anyone, like a ton of bricks. We were reeling. What direction should we go? Where should we live? What should we do? Should I look for work? Should we move in with my parents in Chicago?

Joel began to question his career path, considering sales, insurance, custom furniture.

Along the way, we had glimpses of promise. Within days, Joel had a job offer from his old company. But it would have been another move far from anyone we know, and we made a choice to stay put for the time being.

Then we would get blind-sided. The owners of the home we were meant to purchase wanted to take us to court. Thankfully, after weeks of wrangling, all has settled down.

And then, life began to move at lightning speed! Joel received a job offer from a local company. We accepted joyfully and began to look on Craigslist for a place to rent. Within 24 hours, we had keys in hand to a cute little ranch, with a 4 month minimum lease! We couldn't have planned it better ourselves. Within days, we were moved in, and mostly, unpacked. It is amazing how quickly things can change.

The hardest part of the journey: our wrestling with God. Joel felt called to West Bend and it was a hard blow when we realized that some of the doors we saw closing on houses became clear with him losing his job. So, we questioned, why?

I am not sure we will ever know. We lost sanity and a few dollars in all the transactions. Joel travelled and missed time with us. We sold our home. But I can't tell you how grateful we are feeling now. West Bend never charmed us and we were not sad to be able to stay with our friends and family in the Fox Valley.

This scripture gave me comfort as we wrestled through those days.

Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better? -Matthew 7:7-11 (Message)

He is even better. We just don't always see His plan. Grateful, only now as we look back, for all that we have learned in this process. It was painful and gut-wrenching and I never want to go through it again. But grateful for the understanding we gained in the process.

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