In between baby and toddler

Today she held my hand. This may not seem like much to some moms, but to this mom, it's everything. 

My children are not hand holders or cuddlers. My husband and I aren't really that way, and our kids, even when they were babies, weren't much for cuddling. 

So when they do, time stands still.

We went for a walk. Not far. Just toward the trains. We could hear them clickety-clacking down the tracks at the end of our road, so Annabelle felt that a walk was in order. She's so independent that she walks at least 3 driveways ahead of you.

But Nora is slow. No matter how quickly she shuffles those legs or how hard she pushes out her belly, she is behind. And as her mama, I lag behind with her. 

I reached out my hand to her, and slowly, she wrapped her pudgy fingers around my index finger. I dared not look at her or the moment might just be stolen from me. 

With the sun setting behind us, I could see our shadows. The stark difference in height just made my heart brim over with joy at the thought of the determined look on her face as she was careful over each crack in the sidewalk. 

Today she stayed mostly on course, trying desperately to keep up with "sissy". Usually bending down to dig her finger into an ant hill or curving off into the grass, today we walked together in a straight line. 

The moment didn't last long as Annabelle got impatient and came back looking for us. For a split second, she grabbed my open hand and we walked three across. I literally held my breath. All the thoughts of the lack of sleep, navigating discipline issues, budgets, cleaning, and the crying...all of that faded. I only thought of their hands - Nora holding on to just one of my fingers, Annabelle able to hold my hand now. Straight hair, curly hair. Brunette, blonde. Blue eyes. Both just babies, still. 

And before it started, it was over. Annabelle wanted to hold Nora's hand, which Nora wanted nothing to do with. Annabelle exerted her superiority with a good squeeze and pull. Nora turned around and headed for home while Annabelle darted the other way. All ending in tears as I directed them both the direction we needed to go. 

But no one and nothing can take those brief moments away. My babies are growing up, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But I am trying my hardest to not let moments like those get away without at least a second to reflect on them.