To my daughter, on your second birthday.

My sweet Annabelle,

Tomorrow you turn 2. When I ask you how old you'll be, you hold up the pointer finger on each hand and say "two". I smile and laugh every time you do it, which only makes you do it more. You are so incredibly charming.

These two years have been an absolute gift to me. And I am glad to say i have cherished every one of them. But now that you can talk, I get to see the real you,

And I am so proud. You are beautiful, inside and out. You love your friends and your family so much...and their love for you is overflowing. You have boundless energy with times of sweet rest. You love books! And you read your books all the time.

This year we gave you a sister. Nora. And you have learned to love her. You kiss her and hug her. You are learning to share your mommy and daddy with her, and of course, your toys. And again, I am proud.

You remind me every day of God's grace and love. And you remind me to pray.

My prayer for you, little one, is that you may know Jesus. That His life and words would guide you in your life. That you would follow Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. I will pray this for you as often as humanly possible.

Tomorrow will be so sweet as we celebrate your life. But mommy may cry too. Because you won't be my little girl forever. But for now, for today and tomorrow, you are. And these 2 years, Annabella-boo, have been incredible. Thank you.

With all the love one heart can hold...Mom.

20 minutes alone with Philippians 3

This morning is a treat. Annabelle is outside with daddy and Nora is still sleeping. I took the time to make a cup of coffee and sit down with some scripture. I'm so grateful God continues to remind me of His word at times when I'd really like to check my Twitter feed. It is always fruitful.

Philippians always is encouraging and challenging. Today, I am musing over this Scripture: "but I press on to make it (Christ's suffering and resurrection) my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own." Philippians 3:12b. The concept that I belong to the creator of the universe is so foreign and yet so joyful to me. I love to bask in His love and receive it, not because I deserve it but because I am His.

I have been watching "Army Wives" on Netflix. Addicting and emotional...it gets me through dinner prep and dishes while the girls are napping. Warning: you will cry in virtually every episode. Something these women always talk about is that their husbands are first devoted to their country and to the Army before their are devoted to their wives and children. Marrying these men, they understand and accept it (though, they do show the side of disappointment and frustration, too). I realize it is tv but I know this concept to be true. Military families have to accept their calling and position before their life circumstances. Babies are born while daddies are away. Mommies have to go to enemy countries while their kids graduate preschool without them. And I couldn't be more grateful for their devotion and service.

But as a follow of Christ, a believer in His Kingdom, and a woman who desires to serve Him, do I live like this? Do I live in a way that says "I may be called away to serve, and that is more important than my daily goings on?" No.

I am not saying that I should ever neglect my family (and unless God has some plan I am unaware of), I never, ever intend to miss a moment of my husband or my girls' lives. But the truth remains, do I serve Him first? Is He my daily compass? Do I turn in His direction or my own?

God has been impressing on my heart lately that nowhere in Scripture does it call us to a life of comfort for me or my family. It does not say "live in the safest neighborhood with the best schools and most fun family activities". Currently, that is where we are, so I have to be diligent to not bow down in worship to my family or my daughters or this community.

But may my heart always be tuned into Him. Because I am His. That is my greatest calling.

The prayers of a 2 year old

Tonight, at bedtime, I said prayers as usual, but then thought I would ask Annabelle if she wanted to talk to Jesus. And she did.

And then, I think my heart nearly exploded.

She prayed for her teddy bear and her toes. And then she prayed, without any prompting, for Uncle Dan and Uncle Matt. And then for our friend Paula, who is in chemo right now. With her hands folded and eyes open, she would say "blah, blah, blah, Uncle Dan. Blah, blah, blah, Uncle Matt. Blah, blah, blah, Jesus." she went on and on.

If I can do anything right as a parent, I pray that I can show my girls what it looks like to love Jesus. And when they're ready, they will choose to love Him, too. And if I'm wise, I will learn from my girls what real faith looks like.

"Let the little children come to me" said Jesus.

 

Pip-pops

So Annabelle woke up this morning determined to wear her "pip-pops".

No problem, we weren't going anywhere anyway. After a little while she
complained that they hurt, so we took them off...no big deal.

After her nap, she wanted them back on. So I obliged and put them back
on. She started complaining a little bit but was determined to keep
them on, even when I bribed her with outside to try to change them.
Before long she is sobbing huge alligator tears because they hurt so
bad, but refuses to let me take them off...crying even harder. All the
while, I am laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face (which I
hope she believed were tears of empathy). this went on for a good 20
minutes.

She eventually wised up, took off the one that was bothering her and
is now walking around the house with one "pip-pop" on! She cracks me
up!

Nora Marie

 A tiny bundle of pure joy. I truly didn't know my heartt could expand this quickly. She is absolutely perfect, coming into the world at 7 lbs 3.3 ounces on February 7th at 1:14 pm. When Joel told me "it's a girl", I just cried. I well up now just thinking about that moment. Once I could hear her crying, I just wanted her in my arms.

It would be another 20 minutes before that occurred but the anesthesiologist was able to hold he right up next to my face so i could see here and talk to her. The surgery was so different this time around. I can remember every moment and jokes that were made. I can remember being tugged around and wondering if I was going to fall off the table. I can remember the bizarre sensation of not being able to move my toes no matter how hard I tried.

Nora nursed almost immediately but latched very poorly, doing serious damage within two days. I am currently pumping in order to heal and get started on nursing again.

We have so enjoyed all the visitors. It is a joy to share our little love bug with others. 

Annabelle is adjusting as well as could be expected. The hardest thing for both of us is that I can't pick her up and I can't get on the floor just yet. But we are adjusting. She has the occasional bouts of sweetness with Nora but mostly ignores her. 

Grandma is here and we are truly enjoying our time together. Annabelle especially.

Facebook Status Updates I Wanted to Make Today

 But figured all of my Facebook friends didn't need to know...

 

1) I just sneezed so hard I peed my pants.

2) my poor daughter is so desperate for someone to run around with her that the minute Dada gets home, she asks to play football instead of having dinner...and we let her!

3) time-outs? Yes or no?

4) sometimes I forget about the precious life inside of me and can only think about the aches and pains.

5) I'm ready for the pains of the surgery to take the place of pregnancy pains so I can at least have the baby in my arms and the end in sight. 

6) Annabelle is at the stage where she's incredibly charming and naughty all at the same time. And she's so squirmy that I can't just sit her down, hug her, and whisper how much I love her!

8 days...

We are 8 days away from meeting our little Sweet Pea. And planning is in full effect. This weekend my family came and we made freezer meals and cleaned the baby's room. Today, I had my last appointment before the big day. 2 centimeters dilated and baby is right there. Doesn't matter too much, but nice to know. It did light a fire under me to get my bags packed!

There is much more to think about this time, since Annabelle will be staying home with Papa Hintz for a few days. I want to be sure the house has food stocked and clean clothes and anything else that will help the 2 of them have a great couple of days. I am anxious to have her with us, but nervous about how she'll react to the hospital.

Since October (my last post), we have had 5 more ultrasounds! And in all of them, the baby has passed with flying colors...thank God. Growing right on schedule and moving tons. This baby has proven to be quite strong as the movements can sometimes lean on the painful side. Not sure if it has to do with scarring from the last C-section or gallbladder surgery. Nothing to be concerned about, but I'm sure it makes those areas more tender.

And as for Annabelle, she continues to make us fall head over heels in love with her. She is talking (even some two word phrases) and has some strong opinions. This morning she requested I put her shoes on before we even ate breakfast. (The funny part of the story is that I thought she was asking for juice until she stuck her foot out!) She is growing like a weed and for the most part, very happy.

She is currently getting her 2 year molars...at 19 months!!! Who knew this could happen so early. I just feel terrible for her when she's in so much pain.

She is also asserting her independence. We are working on listening to mom and doing what she is asked. These can be extremely challenging things, but I'm so grateful for who she is becoming.