meeting with the pastor

Joel and I, though not entirely willingly, have kinda-sorta decided that we need to find a church. In the process of looking, we kinda-sorta have found one. Joel is very happy and ready to settle in.

Me, not so much.

It's not that it's not a great church - we already know a good chunk of people there. It's not that I don't love their mission. It's just that I'm not totally sold on the whole idea of a traditional "church". I believe in the "C"hurch with my whole heart. I believe in the Kingdom of God with everything in me. I believe that I'm called to live both of those things out.

I'm just totally unsure of the way we do it in our current American culture.

But the problem is, I don't have a better answer. I know that both Joel and I are encouraged to love more when we go to this place called church. I know that I'm forced to reflect on my image of God when I'm with other people.

But I have questions - lots of them. And often times at traditional churches, they only seem to have answers - and I don't feel like my questions are satisfied by those answers.

I won't tell you what was being talked about at church yesterday, but it was a hard topic. But, as most pastors would do, ours broke it down into very simple terms. After he was finished, the girl in front of me took a big deep breath, and did a fist pump while she mumbled to her neighbor "YES". I think she meant that she felt satisfied - that this question that had bothered her was finally answered.

I did not have the same wave of relief, and I definitely did no fist pumping.

See, my problem is that I don't think we are meant to have the answers - at least not all of them. I didn't agree with the answers that were given, but I didn't have better ones. I think we, as Christians, HATE being uncomfortable. We do everything in our power to make sense of things that don't make sense. We want to be able to hold it in our hands, in our minds, and in our hearts, so that if someone asks us a question, we have a quick and swift response.

I'm uncomfortable with this.

And I'm okay with that.

But the pastor, who we are having coffee with today, might not be. We'll see if I even have the guts to lay it out there.

inspiring words

I used to be inspired more. Maybe it was working with teenagers or children - they see things that we (adults) tends to miss. Maybe it was reading more - Twilight is fun, but not necessarily inspiring. Maybe it was being outside of the 3 1/2 walls of my cubicle. Walking with people, talking with people. Sitting in coffee shops watching the world turn. Sitting in parks watching children play. Making your life work about the act of inspiring people.


I like what I do. I like working for Disney. And having a regular schedule is what is important to me. So, this is where I will stay.


But recently I have re-connected (through Facebook and Twitter) with some of the people I worked with in the act of inspiring teenagers. They all inspire me to remember that the world is bigger - and that thinking about it, and God's hand all over it, is part of what makes my heart pump. It makes me want to soak up words and stories again.



But my favorite inspiration lately is my family. Managing two families has been an adjustment to me, and has meant that we haven't seen everyone as much as we'd like. This last weekend we were able to get down to Chicago - my siblings both there - and spend some quality time.

This quality time involved baseball and reunions.


Now, some people may not agree with me, but there is something about getting to go to a baseball stadium and see your favorite team play. And it's better when your favorite team (mine being the White Sox) - demolish the New York Yankees. I believe this may have been the best game I've been to in a long time at "The Cell" (which I recently learned is what people call good ol' Comiskey Park). 14 - 4 White Sox. No homeruns, but lots and lots of hitting. And I even got to see Bobby Jenks (my fave) come trotting out on the field.





But, better than that, my family was all around me, smiling and laughing and joking with each other. Sharing a few drinks. Eating a few dogs and polishes. Standing and clapping. Making memories. The feeling of excitement that comes when "Thunderstruck" starts playing and the players run out on the field. Watching my Dad and the memories that brings for him.


And then there was the Carpenter Family Reunion. Now, most people have a weird negative connotation with "family reunions". This doesn't exist for me. My family has always been solid and welcoming - even those we only see once a year. The conversation is light and fun - we play games and eat - and share our lives.


But back to inspiration - my grandparents, within the last 10 years, have been a constant source of inspiration for me. My grandmother passed away a year and half ago and most days I think about her in some way or another. I keep a few small replicas of her paintings on my desk at work. As Joel and I pulled up to the house on Sunday - I had a sudden and forceful set of emotions hit me. Most days, my memories of her are just that, memories. But when they come to life, like at her house, I can't help but miss her. She aged so beautifully, and she tackled cancer as if it would never take her down. Grandma and I shared a relationship like I have not seen much between a Grandma and her granddaughter. If you're interested, check out the blog we started to keep memories of her alive http://www.carpentertradition.blogspot.com.





As I walked through the house looking at pictures of her and remembering our sweet time together (especially the 3 years before she died) - another set of emotions washed over me. I had this thought and I think it often - she would be so proud of my grandpa. He has chosen to live through his incredible loss. He works and plays with great joy. He rides his new bike. He travels like a trooper. He keeps up with his chores (which he does on a very regimented schedule). And he continues to gather his family together. I am proud, and she would be too. She has left a deep mark on me and my cousins that will continue to inspire us for our lives. I look forward to telling my children the stories of her courage. I am grateful she shared them with me. And my grandpa continues to inspire me each time I see him.



My inspiration comes differently now, but no less true and colorful. My heart is filled to overflowing.


(Don't miss Grandpa's inspiring words on his shirt!)














http://www.klullo.shutterfly.com/

the keys to our sanity (or so we'd like to think)

Each of us has our own way of relaxing. For Joel, it's working in the garage. For me, it's knitting. Unfortunately for Joel, sometimes his relaxing and our house projects overlap. But for those of you who aren't here (or haven't been to the house in awhile)... here is what Joel finished up a couple weeks ago:

Before this... there was a black wraught iron railing that was of no use to anyone. Now the railing matches the house (and even the staircase in the house). I'm proud :)

As for me, only rarely does knitting turn into a "project". Now is not one of those times! I have only knit a handful of things for myself. I finished up a shawl earlier this year, but it can only rarely be used (I haven't exactly figured out how to wear it yet!) But now... I am knitting a sweater. Here is what I have so far:

It may not look like much right now... but you just wait! It will be lovely to wear in October in Italy!

how do you know if you've had a good weekend...

Well, it could be that you've been to Disneyland or Fratello's or Italy... or it could be that you accomplished a few things and spent some good time relaxing.

Ours was the latter.

Here is a good indication that we had a good weekend...

1) There was food involved in most of the weekend... Saturday morning we got up and road our bikes to the farmer's market, and then to Aldi. There is something about picking up locally grown food on your bike. Does it taste better? Maybe... or maybe that's in my mind. But here is the result of our trip (we then spent Saturday evening sharing this with some new friends of ours). 2) Joel was able to finish up a project on Friday - that I have to say I am quite proud of. He bid on this, won the bid, and did a beautiful job. From this job, he has picked up two more... what can I say, he knows what he's doing! The line is forming... so please let him know if you have some work!

3) Another succesful part of the weekend may not have been the most fun, but it needed to be done... weeding. I only spent an hour on it (Sunday night at the last possible minute), but it did feel good when it was cleaned up a bit. But a question has been haunting me for five years now... what is this plant? It is a perenial... it has the fragrant smell (like an herb) but grows up from one central point (like a bush). And the bees LOVE IT! If you have any idea... let me know!

4) We rested. We watched a few documentaries on Italy (one of the ways we're prepping). We socialized a little. We went to church. We read some of overwhelming volume of magazines (ps- if you like magazines, ask me how I get them free). I knit some more. Joel played in the garage a little (he got new tool bags... and you would think someone just sent him a million dollars!) That to us was a good weekend. Here's how I knew I had succeeded:

the way summer should be

The last two weekends for me have been a taste of the way summer should be. Busy enough to have fun things going on, but not so busy that you miss the world around you.

My theory is that we are truly in control of how busy we let our lives get. No one can busy it for us - it's a decision we make. So Joel and I have decided recently to not let our schedule control us, but to be in control of it. We've prioritized doing the things we always put off and spending time with important people in our lives.

This weekened was a perfect example of that.

Saturday we met my parents in Milwaukee. The Lullo's always keep themselves busy, and so the best bet for matching busy schedules up was to meet half way. We found this great place in Milwaukee called the Public Market where picked up some great food (and some yummy spices).

This is where it gets interesting.

We knew that we wanted to head towards Lake Michigan - so my dad got directions and we headed out. The man who gave my dad directions said, if you go to the second beach, that's where the circus is. I was reminded that the Great Circus Parade was in town doing a festival (and parade on Sunday - which we missed). As we drove closer to the site, chairs began popping up along the road, then tents, then duct tape marking off people's whole blocks of space. Traffic got very heavy and we began to see the tents. The only way we could figure out how to get any closer to the water, was to park near the festivities, eat along the water, and then join in ourselves.

Lunch was fabulous - my dad even thought to bring beer - which was a nice touch to the day. We then walked around the festival grounds. The parade floats (if that's what you want to call them) were out getting a final wash down before the big event. They were bringing out the horses to hook them up for one last practice. It was a great way to get side-tracked together. Next time we just need to plan better to actually be there for the parade. (Side-note: my parents took us when we were much younger, and I still can picture the elephants walking down the streets of Milwaukee).

Joel and I were able to hang out a little while longer - we found a park bench, talked a little, thought a little, and remembered that "this is the life". We are truly blessed.

We ended the night at Lifest. There are too many things I can say here - but my soap box may not be appreciated by all. Let's just say Joel and I walked many circles around that place trying to avoid the people wearing t-shirts that said "Free hugs" and the cheesy Christian lingo that I worked to avoid a long time ago. I just want to say that I think God is about so much more than we give Him room for. I think the best thing I heard all night was from one of two musicians I cared to see. His name is Derek Webb and though I can't quote him, he said something to the effect that in the "Christian culture", especially in Christian art, we write music or paint or sculpt about the 2% of "spiritual stuff" out there, and miss the fact that God is God of all things in life - sex, politics, nature, love - everything. And if he is God over everything, why do we only talk about the 2% that we deem as spiritual? Phew - I better stop not, or you might never come back to read more....

All in all - after a weekend like this, I felt like I could breath again. We spent Sunday around the house - and I even got a chance to read for several hours.

It felt great.

up nort - we return

4th of July on a lake, on a boat, watching fireworks, catching fish - I think that's the life!

It was different than we imagined, and different than before for Joel. The cousins are growing up, most are married, and several have small children. The-drinking-all-day-on-a-fishing-boat days are over. There is still a lot of fishing and card playing - and still a few drinks. But at the end of the night, there were only 3 left around the fire (making s'mores for the rest who were card playing in the house). It was quiet and really nice. We slept a bunch, and ate a bunch (this particular family is oh-so health concious!) The joke with the Hintz's is that if it's fried in canola oil or has some sort of nuts or fruit in it, then it is healthy. Therefore, oatmeal raising cookies and white chocolate nut cookies, are healthy. Caramel bun breakfast with nuts is healthy - and chips fried in canola oil are healthy.

It didn't help my diet much - but it was very tasty!

Brinley's presence was an absolute joy for me - she is precious and smiley and barely ever fussy!

The best times for me were going fishing as the sun was setting - there was always a boat full, the view was stunning, and the conversation jovial. If not for the insane amount of bugs - it was perfect.

And it continues...

This weekend we have more fun plans. Tonight, we get drinks with Dan - who we haven't spent time with in awhile - at one of my new favorite places, Red and White. Saturday we are meeting my parents in downtown Milwaukee to go to the Urban Farmer's Market and then have lunch on the lakefront. After that we're heading to Oshkosh for Lifest and Third Day - Joel won us free day passes. We're hoping to connect with a few people (possibly Mike or Ashley) - and enjoy a night out!

up nort'

All this time I've lived in Wisconsin (going on 6 years in August), I haven't spent much time "up nort'".... and then I got married. Now we go camping "up nort'" and, in the case of this weekend, we even go to the cottage "up nort".

The cottage is an incredible Hintz tradition. They find as many cousins as possible (I think we were over twenty last year) and cram them all into a space meant for 5 (well, I guess they have the bunkhouse now, which will fit another 10). Though we're not sure how many are coming this year, we are planning for the possibility of camping out in the tent.

The great part is getting to be with family, especially as the family grows in numbers. This year we get the addition of Brinley - who through her short time with Joel - has absolutely melted Joel's heart. I look forward to getting a chance to snuggle her, while also getting time to lay in the sun and read with my sisters-in-law. I am truly blessed.

On another note, the summer seems to have gotten away with us - and we are in the process of reclaiming it! We're hoping to meet up with my parents next weekend somewhere in the middle, and then get a weekend or two at home.

Plans for Italy haven't moved much since the apartments were booked - but we have read more of the travel book and we're planning to watch a few movies set in Florence and Rome. This weekend I'm planning on reading Angels and Demons - which is set in Rome and supposedly very descriptive! Then I have to plan our train travel! Looking forward to it!